


Crazy Headache As A Birthday Gift

by YunaYamiMouto



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: (That's where Kyoya got it from), 3x, Adult Fon, Adult Reborn - Freeform, And a bit protective, Attempt at Humor, Bianchi is jealous, Birthday Fluff, Birthday Party, Blame Giannini, But a lovable one, Chaos, Confused Fon, Crack Treated Seriously, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Don't Judge Me, Don't Like Don't Read, F/M, Fluff, Fon has a weakness against cute things, Fon is an Uncle, Gen, Happy Birthday Reborn!, Hibari Kyoya is a little shit, Iemitsu still doesn't know how to Dad, It's kind of cue though, Katekyo Hitman Reborn Style!, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Past Present and Future, People have bad timing, Possessive Reborn (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Post-Canon, Post-Future Arc, Pre-Arcobaleno Curse (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Protective Reborn (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Reborn and Fon get interrupted way too often, Reborn is an Ass, Reborn is frustrated, Reborn needs to rethink romance, Romance, Shenanigans, Ten Year Bazooka (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), The Arcobaleno are little shits, Time Travel, Tsuna is confused, no beta we die like men, no matter the age, post-Arcobaleno curse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 08:28:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26969005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YunaYamiMouto/pseuds/YunaYamiMouto
Summary: Giannini's in town again and he decides to upgrade the Ten Year Bazooka. As always, it does not end well, especially on this fine date of October 13th. (Reborn needs to reconsider the meaning of romance.)
Relationships: Arcobaleno & Arcobaleno (Kateyou Hitman Reborn!), Arcobaleno & Fon, Arcobaleno & Reborn (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Arcobaleno & Vongola Tenth Generation, Bianchi/Reborn (one-sided), Dino & Hibari Kyouya, Fon & Hibari Kyouya, Fon/Reborn (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Reborn & Vongola Tenth Generation
Comments: 4
Kudos: 66





	Crazy Headache As A Birthday Gift

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday to our favorite hitman! May he spread chaos for many years to come!

Another year, another birthday, another gathering of the Arcobaleno alongside his students and their family. Reborn felt kind of content, as he watched over the interactions between Tsuna and his friends, Hibari and Dino and the Arcobaleno and Tsuna's family. Even Lal Mirch had managed to find a free day to come visit him on his special day, though thankfully, Iemitsu didn't trail along after her as an excuse to see Nana. Tsuna didn't need that kind of stress while he was preparing for the Vongola Style birthday talent competition they were holding at Reborn's request.

Even Hibari was going to actually participate this year, unlike the last time when he'd shown up just to tell Reborn he wasn't interested for the Vongola Style Mama Appreciation Day.

Mama and the girls had banded together to make lots of delicious food and even Lambo seemed to be taking the competition seriously this time. With the Arcobaleno around, it promised to be a very interesting day. Hell, even _Verde_ came and he and Reborn would rather inject each other with deadly substances/lead than spend extended amounts of time in the same room, though that could be attributed to Fon's persuasive capabilities. (Reborn wasn't exactly sure how he felt about that, beyond wanting even more to riddle the scientist with bullets than usual.) Mammon had even brought a gift! It was a coffee coupon, but it was still a lot more considerate than what they'd ever done for any of the Arcobaleno over the years.

After they had returned from the future-that-will-never-be, everyone was kind of closer. The Arcobaleno even mostly hung out around Namimori these days. Fon had actually moved back in with Hibari, who, as it turns out, is his nephew. Mammon, Colonello and Skull lost big money on that bet and Verde was still convinced the two were clones. It wasn't all unicorns and rainbows - he snorts at his own unintentional pun - but everyone was kind of friendly? It was a refreshing change, honestly.

Everything was going fine, chaos blooming all around, but it was a peaceful sort of chaos, the fun kind. He liked it, watched in delight as Tsuna panicked when his gift nearly caught on fire and as Gokudera lost the battle with his stomach when Bianchi took off her goggles to get an eyelash out of her eye. Colonello was picking on Skull and Lal was picking on Colonello in the great big circle of lackeys. Romario and Kusakabe were enjoying some champagne and I-Pin was glaring death at Verde when the Lightning Arcobaleno came too close to her shifu. _'Good girl.'_ Lambo was eating the candy Kyoko or Haru gave him, Yamamoto was explaining his latest baseball game to an excited and _extremely_ pumped Ryohei over sushi. Someone should probably get Shamal away from Fuuta, considering the kinds of things he'd ask the boy to rank. Ken was wolfing down the food, Chikusa was critiquing his table manners and Chrome was shyly trying to keep a conversation with the other girls and was trying to distract I-Pin from committing murder. Reborn wouldn't mind. It's not a real mafia party if blood isn't spilled.

Though, considering the killing intent gushing from a very unamused and very much irritated antisocial Cloud whom Dino was trying to keep him calm before he starts biting people to death, he might get that proper mafia party after all. Unless Fon gets involved. The master martial artist is even better than Reborn at getting Hibari to postpone a fight.

It was probably one of the most entertaining birthday parties Reborn's celebrated since becoming an Arcobaleno and it was definitely needed after the whole trauma of going to that dreadful future they had to save. Everything was going just fine and dandy and then Giannini in his flying ball landed on Dame-Tsuna and all other activities stopped. Dino held onto Kyoya, Fon restrained Reborn's gun holding hand and Lal and Colonello restrained each other before anyone of them could shoot/beat him up. The round-headed inventor didn't even notice, given his manic smile and the very familiar purple bazooka in his hands.

"Reborn-san! I managed to upgrade the Ten Year Bazooka so that you can adjust the time frame you stay in the future and I even added a switch that can take you to the past instead!"

"Giannini-san, when is the last time you had a good night's rest?" Fon asked, but was ignored in favor of the inventor beaming at the birthday boy.

"Why do you keep saying 'you' so specifically?" Reborn asked suspiciously, not sure he'll like the answer.

"You should try it out!" The man said without answering either of their questions and then, without permission, he aimed the time weapon at them and pulled the switch. Fon reacted with his famed speed and managed to push I-Pin and Verde out of the way and Reborn did the same with Nana while aiming a gun to shoot but hesitating because that just _promised_ to make the thing malfunction far worse than anything Giannini had managed to fuck up. _'At least we'll get a chance to check up on the future,'_ was his last thought before pink smoke engulfed them.

Except, when it cleared they were still in the Sawada household, with everyone staring at them in horror and Giannini in devastating disappointment. Relief filled the room and Reborn looked to his right to check on the Storm when more smoke filled the room, this time blue and red instead of the usual pink and Reborn knew his birthday had just gone to shit.

He felt a killing intent permeate the room and automatically whirled around and stepped in front of Fon, Leon in gun mode pointed straight past the gun that emerged from the red smoke cloud even before it cleared. It took another moment for it to air out but then the whole room's jaws dropped as a man kept Reborn at gunpoint with a cold look in his eyes. The Arcobaleno and Shamal gasp, because they actually _recognize_ this man and Reborn does his best not to falter as he meets eyes as black as coal.

"W-who are you?" Tsuna manages to ask, having somehow freed himself from under Giannini's hover machine.

Those black eyes slide towards the Vongola Decimo and seem to finally take in the situation he had found himself in. "What the fuck?" But before any other reaction could occur, a confused _familiar_ noise sounded from the blue smoke cloud and Reborn, the man and Hibari all whirled around towards the source of it.

An older version of the Disciplinary Committee Chairman but with chocolate brown eyes and _much_ longer, braided hair. The second newcomer looked around, seeming confused, but then his eyes fell upon the adult gunman and his face lit up in relief. "Ren-"

Faster than the eye could follow, the first newcomer turned away from Reborn and all but lunged for the other man, his hand coming up to clamp the other's mouth shut. "Just call me Reborn," the man said in a deep voice, casting a glare at the rest of the room when more than half of their jaws dropped. "What? You can't tell me you didn't figure it out!" He sneered, pointing down at a very familiar Yellow Arcobaleno Pacifier hanging over his chest, over his unbuttoned vest and half unbuttoned yellow shirt underneath, a tie loosened around his neck and his belt unbuckled. His jet black hair was spiky and swept back but the signature curly sideburns were more than visible. The skin tone was the same, the black eyes were the same. It was so clearly Reborn in his true form that only an idiot wouldn't figure it out.

Though, the shock the others were feeling might be from the sheer state of undress both men were ... 'suffering' from. Fon's dragon tattoo was visible, given that his usual red tunic was pooled around his hips and he didn't seem to be wearing any pants. Reborn took note of the fact that the adult Fon didn't have a Pacifier, which he deduced meant it was Fon from _before_ the Arcobaleno curse, ten years ago, while his other self was obviously from the future, somehow no longer a cursed infant but still bound to his Pacifier. That was more confusing than anything, really. He's used to the Ten Year Bazooka malfunctioning in weird ways, but he'll never be used to the bullshit revolving around the Trinisette.

"Jiji?" Hibari asked, eyes actually wide and startled. Older Fon turned his head and frowned at the Cloud. His own eyes also widened after a moment, mouth coming agape.

" _Kyoya_!? Wha- But you're _six_!"

"Why don't you call _me_ jiji anymore?" The infant version of Fon asked a bit indignantly and both Reborns had to agree with that notion.

"Because people would look at us weird and then I'd want to bite them to death but you'd talk me out of it and I'd just be frustrated in the end," Hibari said with a huff. Dino sweatdropped at his side when he stopped gawking at the older Hibari-lookalike.

"I can see that," the adult Reborn said with an amused grin. "My Fon's done that enough times that my Kyoya ends up asking for famiglia eradication missions and Dame-Tsuna always cries at all the paperwork he then has to fill out."

Reborn the baby and Hibari both frowned at the familiarity of using one's first name but adult Fon was frowning for a whole other reason. "Did you join the mafia or the Triads?"

"Why? Are you going to get angry if it's not the Triads?" Asked Gokudera a bit snappishly but the other Storm just waved him off.

"On the contrary. I'd be sad if he _did_ join the Triads. They are no fun. Kyoya would get bored."

"Hibari Kyoya is Vongola Decimo's Cloud Guardian," Reborn found himself saying and the martial artist's eyes finally zeroed in on him. The man froze. Reborn grit his teeth and subtly clenched his small fist tighter around Leon, though he still had the presence of mind not to hurt the chameleon in gun form. "You're about ten years in the future. Vongola Timoteo chose his heir to be the descendant of Primo's bloodline." Adult Fon kept staring.

"Oh, boy. Here we go," Hibari could be overheard saying and Reborn turned to look at him in askance when he was suddenly plucked right off of the ground. Had he not recognized those deceptively dainty hands, he would have started shooting. As it was, he soon found himself practically squashed against pre-Arcobaleno Fon's chest with the man's cheek rubbing against his.

"So _cute_ ~," the man cooed, bouncing one of Reborn's sideburns with his nose. "You're like a miniature Reborn! Look at those chubby cheeks!"

"Hey! Leave Reborn alone!" Bianchi snapped, taking out her poison cooking and readying to throw it at adult Fon, but both Reborns reacted quicker and drew a gun at her, making her stop in her tracks with wide eyes.

"Oh boy," Colonello mumbled exasperatedly. "It's like that time in Singapore again, with the flirting midget, the seaweed dress and the pink talking llama, kora."

"Talking _what_ now?"

Tsuna's question was ignored in favor of older Reborn growling at the pinkette. "Don't you _dare_ touch him." Reborn the infant had to arch an eyebrow at his future self because clearly his self control was slipping if he actually _growls_ later on in his life. Then again, who knows what he will have to go through in the next ten years.

Adult Fon frowned, confused but unfazed by the threat Bianchi had tried to pose. "I'm not doing anything to Reborn, though?" He pointed to adult Reborn before lifting the baby in his arms to compare the two. Both Reborns saw the moment when he realized littler Reborn was not wearing a costume (for once). "Wha-"

"It's because of a Ten Years Bazooka malfunction," Reborn quickly said, knowing past Fon can't learn about the Arcobaleno curse before it happens. Evidently, it will eventually get fixed, or at least better. Being this close to his future self reassured Reborn of that, because not only does he look healthy, his Flame levels seem to be back to how they were before he was bound to the Yellow Pacifier to unwillingly feed it Flames by Checkerface. "Giannini messed with it-" The man in question cringed and waved sheepishly when adult Fon looked over to him when Reborn subtly nodded in his direction. "And it hit us all so we're temporarily stuck like this," he gestured at himself and the other Arcobaleno, who all nodded to go along with the ruse when adult Fon recognized them as his friends and colleges, staring at them with incredulous eyes. "It just seems that the added effect for some reason brought my older self and you to our time, too."

Adult Fon stared down at him, looking his baby self in the eye - Fon was keeping an impressive blank face - and then Hibari, who just shrugged, as if saying he won't get involved in this shit. _Uncle's boy_. (Not as catty sounding as daddy's boy, but Fon's only his uncle.)

Fon then looked future Reborn in the eye and the man held his gaze until Fon snorted. He shakes his head and sighs in exasperation. "I know you're hiding something from me, probably because this is the future for me and you shouldn't tell me things that could change how everything went down, but please don't insult my intelligence by such a blatant lie. I know _this_ ," he taps a finger over the adult hitman's Pacifier and he didn't even tense at the touch, something none of the Arcobaleno would be comfortable with because those things are practically bound to them on a soul level. They had never tried touching each other's Pacifiers but older Reborn acts as though it's nothing strange for Fon to touch his. Reborn had to hide a certain reaction his body almost gave away - he hoped past Fon couldn't feel how his heart stuttered for a second there - at how familiar his older self seemed with Fon's touch, something that had become practically _alien_ to _him_ in the last ten years since they became Arcobaleno. "Probably has something to do with it but I won't push. Just don't bullshit me."

The other Arcobaleno chuckle at the little exchange - so much like how things used to be back in the good days, before they were cursed - while Hibari smirked and the present day Fon sighed a bit exasperatedly. The rest just watched, unsure how to react.

Adult Reborn, though ... He sighed fondly and leaned over to bury his face in the crook of adult Fon's neck and murmured a bit dopily, happy, like some common lovesick fool. "I _really_ don't need more reminders of why I fell in love with you, _brezza_."

"WHAT!?"

Both Fons faces were as red as their tunics. Infant Fon hid this fact behind one of his billowing sleeves. It was cute, criminally so. Adult Fon, though, buried his face in Reborn's fedora, trying to hide, which was somehow even _cuter_. Adult Reborn chuckled and dared to _kiss_ adult Fon and that's when Reborn shoved his gun into his older self's face, restarting the earlier dramatic showdown, because this Fon was closer to his Fon than his future self's Fon, so clearly he's Reborn's by default in this situation or something. (He just didn't like other men getting so close to Fon, even if that other man was a future version of himself.)

"Back up."

His future self arched an eyebrow at him, leaning back enough to show off just how amused he was. (He clearly understood what was motivating his younger self, damn him, and found it infinitely amusing.) "Are you sure you want to fight me? And what for, anyway? As you are, there's no way Fon would feel comfortable with doing anything with you. There's really no point in challenging me. Not that you'd _win_."

Reborn glared. "Want to test that?"

The other smirked as he reached over and _dared_ to _pluck Reborn's Pacifier_ from his chest and _stuff it into his mouth as one would an actual fucking baby_! "I am an Arcobaleno, just like you. And I am still the world's greatest hitman. The difference between us, besides our size and my greater reach and stamina because of it? I have _all_ the benefits of being the Sun Arcobaleno and _none_ of the problems it causes _you_. So what are you going to do about it, shrimp?"

Two identical killing intents spread across the room almost at the exact same time. Everyone else tensed, not sure what was going to happen but then Mammon started taking bets, which had Arcobaleno Fon sighing. "Yare yare."

Adult Fon, though, looked scandalized on Reborn's behalf. "Reborn! How can you act like that towards a kid?"

Reborn smirked around the damned Pacifier still in his mouth as he realized his older self was in trouble and he could play this to his benefit. Petty? Maybe. But it was sweet, sweet revenge and even sweeter chaos just waiting to happen. After all, older Reborn had had the nerve to go for one of the few insults that ticked off Reborn since he became a cursed infant. He deserved Fon's ire.

"He's _me_! In fact, he's ten years older than the Reborn you know!" Protested the Reborn from the future, but Reborn made a clearly distressed sound as he 'struggled' to pull out the Pacifier from his mouth which had past Fon glaring in disappointment at future Reborn and pulling away from him while rubbing a comforting hand over Reborn's small back.

"I don't care. For all I know, you'd be this mean to an actual baby, too."

"Actually, he likes torturing his students and the Bovino brat, kora," Colonello chirped in and both hitmen turned in an eerie fashion to glare at the blond. Lal hit him over the head hard enough that his faceplant to the ground cracked the floor a little.

"Don't get involved, idiot!"

"If the drama is all finished," Verde finally said, adjusting his glasses. "I'd like to take a look at the adjustments made to the Bazooka _and_ do some tests to figure out future Reborn's current condition-"

"No," Hibari surprised them by saying resolutely. "I won't allow it. No messing with time or time related things in Namimori ever again. _Ever_. Especially if it's Arcobaleno related."

"Do you really believe you can stop me, boy?" The Lightning Arcobaleno challenged, only to find himself facing three nearly identical opponents that were Hibari and the two Fons. No one had even seen any of them move, but adult Fon was now properly dressed in his loose tunic and Hibari had his tonfa out and all three of them already had their Flames lit. Adult Reborn also had his gun now pointed at Verde's head. "You wouldn't break the Arcobaleno pact now would you, Reborn?" The scientist asked a bit unsurely.

"To stop you from fucking us over? I wouldn't _hesitate_ , not after all the times you've broken it first and got away with it beyond a good beating," adult Reborn replied without hesitation and Verde had to accept his loss.

"Olalala, what's this? What's this? Lambo-san found a pretty box!" The childish cry had adult Reborn's head snapped towards the Vongola Lightning Guardian and the way his eyes very subtly widened had Reborn looking, too, and he felt like he might pale a bit. Because there, in that annoying stupid cow's footie pajamas covered hand was a very familiar black velvet box that he's first bought _years_ ago. Ten years ago, to be exact, and he still keeps it on his person, within the safe secret pocket in Leon's belly. He hadn't thought about that box for _years_ ... Until they returned from the future-that-will-never-be for the Arcobaleno Trials and he couldn't stop thinking about seeing Fon again.

You see, eleven years ago, almost a whole year before 'Reborn' became the name he went by for everything and not just for business, the world's greatest hitman had gone by the name Renato Sinclair and he had, for the first time in his life, fallen in love. With his greatest competitor for the title of best assassin, a master martial artist from the Triads, a man two years his junior, _Fon_. They had only personally met when the strongest seven in the world were all summoned and it had taken them barely a week before they became friends and a month before they went on their first date. They had taken in surprisingly slow and it was the sweetest and longest - and the only _real_ \- relationship Reborn had ever been in. He had felt almost overwhelmed and, usually, such overflow of emotions would have him running in the other direction but he found himself _refusing_ to give Fon up. He loved his serene personality, calm smiles, kind eyes, his strength and speed, his sharp mind, the way he seemed to so easily understand Reborn when no one else could even begin to _guess_ at his thoughts or motivations. It helped that he was drop dead gorgeous, too, and had a body that would make male models and all athletes green with envy.

So Reborn - or rather, _Renato_ \- had made plans. Very specific plans, for after they finish the whole strongest seven shtick. He had found both a nice little church and even a small temple - for Fon's sake - willing to marry them. He had bought a ring. He'd even planned out how his proposal would go, planning to do it on his birthday so he can get himself the best gift in the world when Fon inevitably says yes, because he _knew_ Fon had entertained similar ideas, too, and _would_ say yes.

In fact, he thinks he remembers the state of past Fon rather well, actually. It was moments before they were interrupted. Reborn had cooked dinner and invited Fon out for a date in the back gardens of the little villa where the soon-to-be Arcobaleno had been staying for months at that point. He had been getting ready to ask Fon after their meal but Fon had had other ideas and Reborn had by then known there was very little he could or would refuse his beloved tempest. It's why he never did manage to propose, all those years ago. They'd been interrupted by Skull - who nearly died permanently from a bullet to the head, courtesy of a very pissed off and frustrated Renato - because they had to go on their 'final mission' and it would, apparently, take them two days to get to the right location.

The 'final mission' was actually The Fated Day, when they all were bound to the Pacifiers and became cursed, (practically) immortal babies. Reborn had been outraged at his fate, especially when he had finally thought life was better than could ever be, with friends and an actual significant other at his side, and he knew he was in no emotional state to continue his relationship with Fon. They had parted on amicable terms, even kept in touch from time to time, but Renato Sinclair disappeared from the world and all that was left was Reborn the hitman, greatest and strongest in the world.

He kept the ring, though.

He still remembers where the church and temple are.

He still thought about asking Fon, if only just so he can get closure should he die. He'd hated being in the future and not knowing if he'd gotten the chance to tell Fon he loves him one last time before the Anti-Trinisette radiation killed the Arcobaleno. It had been the first proper regret Reborn had felt since he got turned into a cursed baby, seeing as he had done his best to live life in such a way that he'd have nothing to regret when he dies. It had not left his mind since Byakuran was defeated and they got sent back to their proper time.

Reborn had thought he'd never get a proper chance to actually propose and had even considered throwing the ring away so as not to keep torturing himself with what ifs and lost opportunities, but he had always stayed his hand when he was about to dump it in the trash or fling it into the stream in Namimori on the way to Tsuna's school. It would seem he would keep the ring for another ten years and it's a good thing he did.

His future self seems to have finally gotten his second chance with Fon.

And it seems history was repeating itself, because future Reborn had obviously wanted to give himself the best possible birthday gift in the world (again, but for real this time) by getting Fon's 'Yes' on this day, ten years from now, twenty years from his first attempt, only they got interrupted during some heated activities once _again_.

Which is obvious given he had the box with the ring in it that was now in Lambo's grubby little hands.

"You snot nosed brat, give that back this instant!" The adult hitman ordered, lunging after the stupid cow in order to grab the box, but Lambo stuck it in his hair and blew a raspberry at the fedora-less man.

"Nah nah, Lambo-san won't give it back! It's Lambo-san's now!"

"I'll kill you!"

And so began the brief chase that had Lambo jumping off of people's heads, causing Gokudera to start throwing dynamites around and Bianchi just added to the mess with her poison cooking dishes, though she not so subtly aimed them at the perplexed past Fon, who dodged on instinct, and Fon, who sighed in resignation at the whole thing and just disintegrated any plates flying towards him with Storm Flames. They made barely a round around the room before Lambo went down when Reborn tripped him up as he passed him. Lambo went crashing into the wall and older Reborn's hand was in his hair in a second, making a confused grunt when he apparently found no ring box.

"Where did you put it, you dumb cow?" Demanded both Reborns this time, because that ring had been carefully kept for the off-chance that Reborn will get to propose to Fon again and finally settle things between them and that seems to have taken up a whole twenty years. Neither present nor future Reborn liked the thought of the ring being lost after all that effort and stubbornness to let it go.

"Relax, relax. The great Lambo-san has it!" The child arrogantly stated and reached his own hand into his Afro hair, only for a confused expression to pass over his face and then he started tearing up. Adult Reborn flung him away from himself when the boy started wailing and sniveling. "Wah! Lambo-san lost the pretty box!"

"You WHAT!?" Every Arcobaleno present, Doctor Shamal and just about everyone else shouted with the exception of Fuuta, both Fons, I-Pin and Hibari.

"Clumsy Lambo!" The little Chinese girl admonished, punching her friend - considerably lightly - in the face. "This is why you don't touch other people's stuff!"

"It must have fallen out during the chase," Dino said, trying to defuse the situation. "We just need to look around, okay?"

"How about we do that after I prepare us all some tenderized veal steak!" Growled the agitated hitmen, both of them honestly torn up between killing the Bovino, Vongola Lightning Guardian or not, and searching for the box. "This is all _your_ fault," older Reborn said coldly to Giannini and the man looked ready to faint from fright.

And then Reborn heard it, while his future self was still busy debating between starting the apocalypse or a search party worthy of hunting down Checkerface.

It was a minute, almost unheard noise, masked under the ruckus of everyone offering to search for the box - Mammon, of course, demanded money for it, while Colonello was teasing/threatening the Arcobaleno from the future about peeking to see what's in the box if he finds it first; Verde refused to take part in the idiocy and future Reborn himself forbade either Fon from helping to look, because these Fons were obviously not the ones meant to receive that ring, not yet - but he caught it and he turned towards its source.

Were he a lesser man, he'd pale at the sight of Hibari snapping the box shut. "I never realized you were this herbivorous, Akanbo. It's so disgustingly sweet that I feel my teeth rotting from quickly forming caries."

Reborn's future self first lit up upon seeing his precious box safe but then wariness overtook his whole being and he was now watching Hibari the same way one would a mother bear around her cub. "Now, Kyoya, please give that back, yes?"

"Why?" The skylark asked and they all kind of froze, because Hibari has _never_ outright ... _defied_ a request from Reborn before. Respect between carnivores or whatever and all that. This was a surprise and a half.

"What do you mean 'why'?" Reborn asked, wondering if he should try to launch a surprise assault on the Cloud. The sharp glance from his older self told him that no, he shouldn't. Following his eyes that flickered towards pre-Arcobaleno Fon and Storm Arcobaleno Fon showed him why. Neither of them would stand around for a perceived attack towards their nephew, especially not past Fon, who was not at all yet knowledgeable of just how well Hibari can fight and defend himself. Between Roll and the Cloud Vongola Ring, Hibari was a fearsome fighter and might even give one Reborn a slight challenge in getting the box back if he fights with his head and not just his tonfa and blood-lust. But if both Reborns spring into an 'attack', present day Fon will get involved and Reborn _really_ doesn't want to fight his former lover.

"Why? It's meant for him, anyway, right?" Hibari pointed at the past form of his uncle and they all whirled around to see that Fon was holding something between his hands, brown eyes blown wide, mouth agape. Hibari then threw the obviously empty box back at future Reborn, who numbly caught it on reflex but was already making his way towards the far too young version of Fon, the one who had been the first supposed to get that very ring he brought up between their faces.

"Fon-"

"How long have you had this?"

"Holy shit, Reborn-senpai was going to propose!?" Skull all but screeched, as though to announce what everyone else had already figured out by themselves. The stuntman ran over to the infant martial artist, shaking the stunned Storm by his little shoulders. "Reborn-senpai was going to _propose_!"

"Have you had that thing on you since The Fated Day?" Lal asked incredulously while Colonello gawked next to her. Even Verde was staring, wide-eyed. "You kept it for _twenty years_!?"

"You have this back in my time, too!?" Adult Fon asked, sounding a bit shril, clutching onto the ring, holding it against his chest when older Reborn moved to take it back.

"Fon, listen-"

"Just bite the bullet and ask him already," Hibari called out in a very uncharacteristic manner for him. Reborn wondered for a moment if someone had spiked the drinks and then decided even if they had, Dino would have never allowed Hibari to drink them if that was the case. And then there was Fon, who was a protective uncle and doting master and also would ensure such a thing cannot happen around his nephew and young student.

"He's not _my_ Fon," adult Reborn shot back a bit snappishly. "That ring's meant for _my_ Fon. We've both waited long enough for this chance so go suck on your tonfa, Kyoya, and stay out of things that don't concern you."

"Fon's my jiji, be it this form of him, the current form or whatever future form he takes on. It most definitely _is_ my business if I've spent the past ten years knowing he was melancholy and sulky because you can't be together anymore because of your circumstances. If knowing that you love him enough to want to take him as a spouse despite everything will give him something to look forward to for the future for the next twenty years or however long it actually takes you to gather the guts to finally pop the question, then I'll gladly risk fucking up the timeline for good. So deal with it and get on your knees, Akanbou."

Adult Reborn blinked and then pointed at Reborn himself. "What, him, too?"

"What?" Reborn replied in his flattest possible tone. Fon was staring at him wide eyed. Beside him, Skull very wisely moved away to stand with the other Arcobaleno. Mammon was filming everything, the bastard.

"Wait, Reborn has a ring on him, kora? Even _now_ , kora?" The blond Arcobaleno asked incredulously, turning those wide baby blue eyes on the hitman. Reborn sneered at him but then Leon decided to be a traitor and spat out an identical box to the empty one his older version was holding, shooting it straight into Fon's hands.

Fon's jaw actually dropped.

"Wait, is Reborn actually getting married this time!?" Tsuna half-shrieked, gawking at the proceedings. Reborn wondered if he was blushing, despite his iron control. Blushing was below him.

"Is that why you were so against marrying Poison Scorpion?" Dino asked and both Reborns shot him deadly glares when past Fon recoiled from future Reborn's reaching hand as though it might burn him. "Because you're already taken?"

"No shit, Sherlock," Verde sneered, pushing his glasses up condescendingly, though how such a gesture was possible was not important right now. "It's a well known fact among all of Reborn's closer acquaintances or friends that he's rather taken with Fon. They used to be disgustingly inseparable. Like carbon and oxygen atoms in molecules of carbon monoxide."

"Yeah, they used to make Colonello-senpai's puppy crush on Lal-senpai look like a healthy codependent relationship."

"Excuse you, our relationship was perfectly healthy!" Both Reborns snapped and Yamamoto laughed.

"That's what someone in an unhealthy relationship would say, right?"

"No, they were actually in a rather normal relationship, given who they are," Lal cut in and Reborn reminded himself to buy her a nice Christmas gift. Maybe a muzzle and a leash for her puppy. That ought to keep Colonello in line.

"Why are we discussing my and Reborn's relationship?" A long-suffering Arcobaleno Fon asked with a sigh. "Can't you leave him be? It's his birthday, anyway. Give him some slack today and then badger him tomorrow."

"Oh, so you can run off back to China and avoid getting teased about this? No way, kora!"

At the same time Colonello declared this, the Ten Year Bazooka started dancing in the corner of the room, where they had all left it forgotten after it had spat out future Reborn and past Fon and they noticed it too late before there were another red and blue clouds of smoke emerging from it with a pop.

"Getting teased about what?" Fon's voice - adult - asked and they all turned to find _another_ Fon, a grown man like past Fon, only he had a Red Arcobaleno Pacifier hanging over his chest, though he was in no better state of dress than his twenty years younger self. "Oh, there you are, Reborn. I wondered where you'd gone off to. I figured it was the Bazooka's doing, even if the smoke was not the usual color."

"Wait, are you telling me those cows actually managed to stabilize that thing?" Jaws dropped for this voice, because it belonged to yet _another_ Reborn, this one without a shirt on though he had a fedora on his head. The most noticeable difference between him and future Reborn, though, was the lack of the Sun Pacifier on his chest. Sharp black eyes studied the room with a calculating coldness to them that people shivered in fright. This was Reborn in hitman mode, even if he was moving over to his own Fon and standing slightly in front of him as though to protect his lover from view. He didn't get the chance to say much else before a ring was shoved into his face and all he could do was blink. Then his eyes widened when he saw what it was that his Fon was holding. "Where did you-? When-? _How_?"

"You really do have it? On you, here and now?" Past Fon asked a bit uncertainly and past Reborn frowned in confusion, hand reaching under his fedora to fetch the by now very familiar velvet ring box and he opened it to reveal a ring identical to the one past Fon was currently holding. Past and future Fon both raised a hand up to their mouths as tears seemed to gather at the edges of their eyelashes.

"Just what the hell is going on?" Past Reborn demanded even as he easily caught past Fon in his arms when the martial artist flung himself at the hitman. Future Fon waved at him from where he had joined his own Reborn's side and past Reborn could only stare at infant Arcobaleno Fon standing beside Reborn. "What the hell?"

"The Bovino's Ten Year Bazooka malfunction," Reborn explained to his past self, though he's not sure the words even registered to the man. He was probably suffering from cuteness overload because his eyes were almost glued to infant Arcobaleno Fon. Reborn moved a bit in front of _his_ Fon because past Reborn had past Fon and didn't need Reborn's Fon. "You're currently ten years in the future-"

"Why the _hell_ are you wearing a pacifier?" The younger adult Reborn asked the older one and Reborn had to clench his fist and take a deep breath before he shoots his past self. Why were all adult versions of his assholes? (Probably because he himself was an asshole, but whatever.) "What, are you a baby?" He mocked and future Reborn glared.

"You can damn well bet that I fucking was, greenhorn brat."

"You don't look much older than me," countered past Reborn, sneering condescendingly at future Reborn. "Are you _really_ my ten years older self? You look ridiculous with that thing."

"Fon has one just like this!" Future Reborn retorted a bit incredulously, blatantly touching the Red Pacifier from the future to make his point. Future Fon didn't so much as twitch, proving once more that these two had a familiarity that was probably years in the making if they allowed (any version) of each other to so casually touch the thing tied to their very soul and life force.

"Yes, well, you and I both know Fon looks freaking hot or adorable in just about anything." All three Reborns nodded at that, because it was _fact_ , while all three Fons blushed a red that was almost as bright as their usual tunic.

"And I'm not your _ten_ years older self," continued future Reborn from where he had left off. "I, too, have been dragged here by the Ten Year Bazooka, but _from the future_. Do the math, genius. It shouldn't be hard."

"Thirty!" Skull announced out of nowhere and everyone turned to look at the stuntman incredulously. "The difference between you two is thirty, right?" Colonello high-fived him, the two idiots grinning at each other. Verde looked resigned to their stupidity while Gokudera looked ready to snap to correct them, but it was the three hitmen's reactions that truly mattered and caught people's attention. Namely that all three of them reached for a gun - an actual gun, not Leon because the chameleon would never actually harm his human - and brought up their hands to point them at their heads.

And with far too practiced ease that spoke of _way_ too much experience with this occurrence, all three Fons reached out for their Reborns' hands and stopped them with a gentle but firm pressure on their hands with a soft but unrelenting "No".

"I can't take this stupidity, Fon," Reborn said honestly to his Fon, but the Storm was as unrelenting as his attacks.

"They get stupider and stupider with each second," complained Reborn of the past to past Fon.

"Haven't I dealt with enough of their idiocy by now?" Future Reborn pleaded with his Fon, but future Fon just patted his cheek in consolation and dismissed his dramatics. Except it _wasn't_ dramatics! Skull and Colonello need to start using their fucking brains! Just because there were three of them didn't mean they each carried ten years! Reborn was a zero and the other two were negative and positive ten! The difference was twenty, not thirty! The mathematician in Reborn was _dying_ , here! Show some sympathy! "I should have shot them twenty years ago when I had the chance," future Reborn continued and the other two perked up, particularly past Reborn.

Realization dawned on Colonello's face. "Is _that_ why you were so eager to shoot me despite knowing _exactly_ who it was that was following you on The Fated Day, kora!? You bastard!"

"You mean _that's_ why he pushed me off that cliff!?" Skull screeched, but immediately shut up when all three Reborns aimed a gun at him. Colonello was silenced far more effectively by a spartan slap from Lal.

"How long is this going to last, Verde?" Future Fon asked their resident - extremely successful and ingenious, if morally loose - scientist and the green haired baby rubbed his chin as he ran calculations and theories through his mind. His mind was the only thing Reborn could ever truly respect in the Lightning Arcobaleno. The man was an indisputable genius, but he was also an indisputable _bastard_ and no, it was not a birds of the feather kind of situation between him and Reborn. Verde always far too eagerly tried to think up ways to defeat/kill Reborn and Reborn far too often imagined putting a bullet in between Verde's eyes for that.

"Well, seeing as it's already been almost half an hour since future Reborn and past Fon arrived, it is clear that the time limit isn't the usual five minutes. My estimated guess? Now that future Fon and past Reborn are also here to balance the other two out, probably another half an hour. Arcobaleno can appear from time to time, in any point of time, but this would upset the balance so it's only a matter of time before the Trinisette does its job and pulls you back."

"Trinisette?" The Arcobaleno-to-be from ten years ago asked, both clearly confused but the Italian of the duo was definitely a lot more demanding in his question.

"We are not at liberty to speak of these matters with you, as they might change things and seeing as everything will be alright ten years from now, not even I am willing to experiment with the changes sharing this knowledge with you might cause," Verde said decisively while fixing his glasses.

Past Reborn blinked, clearly taken aback, and even the future pair looked incredulous at the fact that Verde would skip on the chance to experiment.

Past Fon even commented on it. "I guess it must be pretty serious and really important if even _Verde_ does not wish to risk it by experimenting."

"But wouldn't it be better if you, you know, _stopped_ it?" Shamal asked of the current and future Arcobaleno. "I mean, if you were to tell this Reborn, he could prepare and none of your problems would exist in our time, or that future-that-will-never-be." Past Reborn perked up at this, obviously not liking how vague everyone was being but he was definitely filing away everything he heard, just in case. "He _is_ the strongest hitman in the world and even the strongest of you Arcobaleno, right? Surely he'd be able to take on the Administrator of the Trinisette, especially if he had the rest of you as backup."

"Yare yare, don't you think we've all thought such things over a million times by now?" Mammon asked, sounding a bit offended. "Verde and I were willing to combine my money and his science to create an actual, functioning, two-ways time machine so we could all go back and join forces with our past selves so we can save them from The Fated Day, but being Arcobaleno also brings in certain knowledge no one else in the world can know. It's because of this knowledge that we never actually tried to implement that plan."

"And that's not even considering the possible consequences that such actions may cause," Reborn added. "Even if we forget about the large scale problems of the whole deal, even smaller occurrences would change dramatically if we were to just _stop_ our Fated Day. We wouldn't be here, for one. Tsuna would probably be dead, for that matter. Maybe Gokudera and Dino, too. I-Pin and maybe even Hibari would have completely different lives. Who knows where Bianchi or Shamal would be. Lal or Colonello could have died on some random battlefield. Lambo could have gotten killed for being so annoying. Fuuta would practically be a slave. Xanxus would still be frozen in Zero Point Breakthrough. Do you get where I'm going with this?"

"Not to mention that that guy is no pushover, either," future Reborn supplied. "Yes, all of us could _maybe_ take him, but that's not the answer. The Pacifiers need protectors." And _hosts_ , so to say, but Reborn and future Reborn can't reveal that around past Reborn or he might just snatch up past Fon when they get back to their time and make a run for it. "Besides, it would be a waste of time, now. Just a couple of years from this moment in time," he gestured at the crashed birthday party to show what he means. "That whole _problem_ is solved."

"Okay, so, no killing this Administrator guy. Got it," past Fon said and the Arcobaleno all relaxed because they _knew_ Fon could keep Reborn from doing that. "Do you think there's a way to speed up our return to our rightful times? I believe Reborn and I have some things to discuss."

"You're saying yes, right?" Said other man from the past asked, frowning at his lover. "Because, otherwise, this might turn out to be a really shitty birthday. I already have a headache that's making me bordering on murderous. If we get interrupted _one more time_ when we get back-"

His words were cut off with a puff of blue smoke and when it dissipated, the two Arcobaleno who were not yet Arcobaleno were already gone, back to their own time. Everyone let out sighs of relief because things were a lot less dangerous now. Not only was there now one less Reborn left, but the present and the future were safe, too.

"And so there were two," Hibari commented with a grunt of something that sounded vaguely like amusement.

"Seems like the Trinisette is in a hurry," commented Fon and his future self nodded.

"It is probably because there are two Sun and Storm Pacifiers and Arcobaleno in the same time and in such close proximity. It can't be good for the balance of the world."

"So it's only a matter of time before these two go puff, too?" Yamamoto asked curiously, looking at the two adult versions of the Red and Yellow Arcobaleno Pacifier Holders.

"Well, get on with it, then." They all turned to look at Hibari as though he had lost his mind, but the Cloud only rolled his eyes. "The _ring_ , Arcobaleno. The _ring_."

Adult Reborn actually _gaped_ at him. "I'm not about to propose in front of these idiots!"

"Hey!" Colonello and Skull were the first to protest, Gokudera looked like he _wanted_ to but didn't want to disrespect any version of Reborn, Yamamoto laughed, Tsuna looked resigned, both Fons were sending older Reborn a reprimanding look, the younger kids were (miraculously) quiet, Ken was still busy with the food, Chrome, the girls and Chikusa were quiet and just watching everything and Dino smiled a strained smile, as resigned to being called an idiot by Reborn as Tsuna was. Romario and Shamal knew better than to get involved in other people's business, Mammon only wanted to collect their winnings from whatever betting pool they'd started and Verde didn't care. Bianchi looked like she might be frothing at the mouth, though, and Lal looked a bit uncomfortable at the idea of being present for such a thing.

Hibari narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "I want to _see_ \- with my own eyes - that you will propose to jiji. Some version of me _may_ have given you his blessing, judging by your casual familiarity with me, but that version is _not me_. I don't know whether you can make my uncle happy, so I need visual proof. Now stop being such a herbivore and _do_ it. Or is the message 'You Had Me At Chaos' for someone else?"

Shamal and Colonello let out impressed whistles. "That's _smooth_."

Adult Reborn's jaw tightened but before he could answer, adult Fon placed a hand on his shoulder just as a puff of red smoke erupted around them. A moment later, they were gone. Nana clapped her hands excitedly, commenting to practically no one that the magicians were really good and maybe they should bring them back tomorrow for Tsuna's birthday, too. Said future Vongola boss sweatdropped hard enough that Reborn could practically _feel_ his resignation second hand. Fon was kind of staring at Nana as though she might be crazy. He still wasn't used to how oblivious and ditsy the woman could be.

Hibari just huffed. "Saved by the bell. Well, your turn, Akanbou."

"Bold of you to assume I'll do what you want, when you want it, just because you said so," Reborn said with an arch of a single, small eyebrow.

"Bold of you to assume Fon will say yes if you don't get my blessing," purred the prefect with a dangerous, half mocking grin. Reborn looked to Fon, as did everyone else, but the Storm did not meet anyone's gaze. Hibari's grin only stretched further. "Jiji and I have only had each other for a long time. And good parents don't usually marry people who their kids don't like or get along with. You want Fon, you get _me_ as a part of the deal. Why do you think your future self so casually calls me by name and speaks so familiarly with me? Besides years of knowing me personally, that is. You _need_ my blessing and if you don't ask now, my blessing ends until your next birthday, Reborn."

Well, Reborn knew Hibari was serious about this if he skipped 'Akanbou' and went straight for his name. His own chosen name and not his _actual_ name, but still his name all the same. The hitman thought over his options carefully and knew he had no choice. It wasn't like he'd ever _wanted_ to part ways with Fon in the romantic sense. As had been stated earlier, he had had actual _plans_ for their life together, if only they hadn't been put on hold by the Arcobaleno curse. "If I propose now, the me that just went back to his own time won't have anything to do in the future," he pointed out halfheartedly.

"The you from the past also already proposed to jiji's past self and yet you're not married to this day," Hibari countered with a shrug. "Branching timelines and all. There are now two new universes created from the situation that had happened at this birthday party. Neither are connected to this one beyond the forty five minutes your past and future selves had spent here. That is, if my understanding of the multiverse theory is correct."

"It is," Verde assured and that was that.

Reborn brought up his small but very deadly hand up to massage at the bridge of his nose, feeling something like a very strong, very persistent headache starting to build. "Must you do this to me on my birthday?" Was his last ditch effort to get out of publicly proposing to Fon in front of his gawking students, his fellow Arcobaleno, Mama, the stupid cow and the rest of the kiddies and Vongola Guardians.

"Think of it as a gift," was all Hibari said in return and Reborn knew he'd lost when Leon jumped over to the Cloud in spring form before transforming back to his usual chameleon self.

Fon was blushing so hard he resembled his Pacifier. It was criminally cute. Reborn sighed and got down on one knee, ignoring as best as he could the - not all that welcomed - chaos that erupted the second everyone saw this one gesture, from Bianchi slowly turning the entire house into poison cooking to Tsuna wailing and shrieking about it, from Yamamoto's laughter and Gokudera's collapsing when the goggles melted right off of Bianchi's enraged face to Chrome whimpering for Mukuro to save her and the two boys at her side, and from Colonello and Skull loudly cheering him on to Ryohei suddenly bursting through the back door yelling about how he was _EXTREMELY_ sorry for being so _EXTREMELY_ late. He ignored how Hibari looked ready to go to war with Bianchi - which Reborn was actually kind of grateful for, given he didn't want any interruptions for this, even if it was all crazy and _way_ out of control by now - and how Dino was stuck between siding with him and trying to calm him down. I-Pin was busy keeping Lambo from messing with the still risky Ten Year Bazooka - and keeping it away from Giannini, too; good girl, her master taught her well - while Fuuta, Haru and Kyoko seemed excited over it all, the first because he wants to rank this whole party, Reborn's and Fon's romance and Reborn's proposal and the other two just because of the proposal.

Reborn just took a deep breath focused on Fon and finally asked a question ten years in the waiting.

The teary-eyed yes was definitely worth the headache.

It was the weirdest birthday he's _ever_ celebrated.

**LA FINE**

**Author's Note:**

> And that's that! Thoughts?
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading and have a nice day!


End file.
